The Monday Motivator | Confidence Is Just Entitlement

March 25, 2019

The Monday Motivator is a series meant to motivate, encourage, inspire and provide advice on real life stuff.*

I've chatted a lot about Mindy Kaling's book "Why Not Me?" the past month and it's because it was just so stinkin' good. You can read my book review here.

The book is full of quotable sentences that make you laugh out loud, and even say "hell yeah!" But there was one chapter in particular that I've thought about since I read it. The chapter is called, just like the book, "Why Not Me?". Mindy talks about the term "entitlement" and how it's been awarded a bad reputation, but in reality, confidence is just entitlement. Don't get me wrong, there is a BAD kind of entitlement. But Mindy's point is how it's OKAY to feel entitled when you've worked your butt off and know your stuff.

To give you the full context, here is an excerpt from the book:

"Confidence is just entitlement. Entitlement has gotten a bad rap because it's used almost exclusively for the useless children of the rich, reality TV stars, and Conrad Hilton Jr., who gets kicked off an airplane for smoking pot in the lavatory and calling people peasants or whatever. But entitlement, in and of itself isn't so bad. Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you'd better make sure you deserve it."

This chapter was really eye-opening for me. Mindy is right; when we think of someone as "entitled", it's a negative label for a person who's had everything handed to them and acts like they're better than everyone else. But if you look up the actual definition of entitlement, it is defined as "the fact of having a right to something" first and foremost. And that, my friends, is where the difference of acting entitled and being entitled comes in.

In college, I majored in journalism. My current job is in the marketing field, and even though I am still learning, I know my strengths. On the rare occasion that someone asks me for help with writing or editing, I am quick to put my skills to use. But when someone doesn't ask for my help, I have no problem pointing out mistakes. This is not because I'm a snob. It's because at my job, when it has to do with writing, I know that I am the smartest person in the room. So I act like it. And if that makes me seem entitled... GOOD. 

"People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That's a mistake."

I worked my ass off in school. I absorbed everything like a sponge when it came to my major. Because of this, I am very confident in the work I produce. I am entitled to that confidence because I've worked for it.

The point is, you shouldn't feel bad about feeling entitled, but ONLY if you've worked your butt off to feel that way. Whether you're in school, have a full-time job or are building your own business, if you've put in the hours, did your homework, absorbed the knowledge, continued to build upon your skills, and have an overall kick-ass work ethic, then damn, girl. OWN IT.

Own your confidence. Own your entitlement. You know you deserve it.

To conclude, I will leave you with the final sentence of the chapter:

“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.”

Confidence is everything,

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